Please welcome our first official rock star...

Okay....maybe "rock star" is pushing it. Playing Indian casinos in Pala, CA and Tuscon, AZ to the backs of a crowd of blue-hairs dumping their Social Security checks into the nickel slots while they smoke Virginia Slims next to their oxygen tanks isn't exactly making it big...but who am I to judge?

Oh right, a famous internet celebrity, that's who!! WIN!

The Peep Show monger shown above is Matt. He's the drummer in The Gary Hoey Band. Yeah, I never heard of them either, so don't feel bad about it. I guess Gary is some guitar virtuoso that literally DOZENS of people have heard of apparently. Feel free to check out some of his top hits like....uhh, that song, you know the one...with the guitars and stuff. Anyway, head to Myspace, or as I call the site, "The Sinking Ship", to hear some sweet licks. I'm sure Matt's drums are right up front in the mixes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHA!!!

By the way, what's with the porn store? Do people still buy magazines and DVDs and go see peep shows?? Where was this taken, the backwoods of Alabama where the internet hasn't reached yet??

And I want to say thanks for the really crappy cell phone pic, guys. Would it kill you to spend a little of that beer money on an actual, you know, camera? The good news is that I hunted up another photo of Mr. Hunky-Rockstar for you guys. If only to show you that he looks just like the heavy metal version of Bill Pullman:



Right? AMIRIGHT? That's TOTALLY Bill Pullman!!! Hey Lone Starr, watch out for Dark Helmet!! He's behind your drum riser!

That spray painted wall is also awesome...were they playing in my nephew's treehouse? Sounds like the tour is going great guys! Hope to check you out at Applebee's in a week or two!

Grapefruits of Wrath!!!

Ok, so the title doesn't really have anything to do with the photo. But it was too good to pass up using after it was suggested to me by a friend. Am I going to give her credit here? No. Get your own blog, Ms. Glory Stealer.

Also, I've never read the Grapes of Wrath. I don't even know what it's about. What am I a librarian? I seem to get the impression that most kids read this in school as a requirement. I was probably relegated to coloring pictures of grapes in a coloring book while these kids were reading.

On to the photo...Which I was inspired to post by my friend Dawn. She gets a partial credit here because I'm terrified of her.

This, my friends, is Uncle Bob. (By marriage) He rocks out harder than any of the actual rock stars I know. (Do people still call them rock stars? That seems outdated. And yes I know rock stars, I AM a famous internet blogger after all) He plays a mean bass guitar and jams with his band all the time. This cat always has a grin on his face like he knows something we all don't, and I didn't need to prompt him at ALL to throw the devil horns in this photo. He's. just. That. Awesome.

First time I met him was at a cookout we were having at the new house. He showed up with a bunch of that side of the family and the first thing he asked me was, "Where can I plug in my amp?"

What??? No hello, no nice to finally meet you or hey lovely lawn, I bet you spend endless hours taking care of it because it's beautiful. Right to the jam session for Pops.

So he drags in a little amp and a bass, and his nephew comes in with a guitar. And they plug in at my kitchen table and start jamming. It was the funniest thing EVER.

Someone also made the mistake of telling them I was the vocalist in a band. They kept begging me to jam with them, but I had to decline. Those hot dogs aren't going to burn themselves! Besides, I don't think they were warned about what they were getting into asking me to sing...