We now pronounce you......METAL!!!

Hi. I'm Karen and I'm an alco... Oh sorry, I thought it was Tuesday. Lemme try that again...

Hi. I'm Karen and I'm a friend of Randy's. Oh yeah?! You know him, too?! Well boy, do I feel bad for us!

Annnnyyyway, he is being a lazy boy this week and demanded I write his blog for him. That's right! DEMANDED! Can you believe that? He was all, "Karen! Write my blog!" and I was all, "Pssssshhh!" and he was all, "Woman! Don't make me go over there!" and I was all "Sistah, please!" and he was all, "If you don't, I will not make you anymore banana bread."

And that's what it took, folks. The witholding of banana bread.

Well, it's true and if he tells you any differently you won't believe him since you said you know him.

So in some circles I do this thing. It's called photography. Maybe you've heard of it? No? Okay, I basically steal people's souls for cheap money. My friends all tell me I should charge more, but I like the nightlife. I like to boogie.

But annnnyyyyway. If it pleases the court, may I present Tony & Julie's wedded bliss moment? Because your photog/ghostwriter had the forethought and quite frankly the lucidity, it also comes topped with Grapefruit. Yeah, you can thank me later.

So, there they are. The happy, new couple. Holding Grapefruits of Metal. You may now headbang the bride.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: I want to thank Karen for taking on the monumental task of writing this blog entry for me. I hope she learned a lesson on just how much work it is and she appreciates me a bit more now. I also hope she doesn't expect to get paid for this.)