There are so many things wrong with this photo...

I don't even know where to begin. Ok, yes I do, the black socks (Wow, I'm such a Red Sox fan that I actually just typed "socks" as "sox" and had to go back and edit it) with the black sneakers. Is that a pair of Easy Spirits?!? WTF?!? I'm just missing the fanny-pack and my decent into tourist hell would complete....

Oh, wait, good news, I just noticed something just as bad!! I have a camera case STRAPPED to my belt!! I know, I know....you thought it was a holster for my six shooter or something. Well my bounty hunter days are long over and my weapon of choice these days is a mid-level priced digital camera with 10x optical zoom. It's deadly....for snapping blurry photos!!

And don't you dig my Trans-Am tank top? I think it was a Hot Topic clearance item I picked up for $5 about 10 years ago. That's no excuse though. The shirt is terribly stupid. But it sure works for this white trash/tourist ensemble!

Let's move on to the epic points of this photo. First and foremost, THE SHARK. Sharks are awesome. I don't care who you are or how cool you think you are, or how well traveled you think you are, the second you see a shark you are like a little kid who just walked into Disney World for the first time. I could watch sharks swim around for hours on end and never be bored. Just admit you would too, and we'll move on.

Another epic point to this photo that wouldn't be obvious to you the reader is that I took this back in 2006. I didn't think I've been doing the Grapefruits of Metal for that long. Wow, four years. I honestly don't know when I really started doing it, but this seems to be the oldest picture I have documenting my complete awesomeness.

This photo was taken at the Atlantis Resort and Casino in Nassau, Bahamas. This place is RIDICULOUS. Look at the link and check out the pictures. They have like four private beaches and about fifty pools. The giant "bridge" between two buildings is actually a penthouse suite. It costs $15k a NIGHT to stay in. They called it the Michael Jackson Suite because....... he used to stay there all the time. See, you thought I was going to write some crass joke about him, didn't you? Well I wanted to, I just couldn't think of anything good. They have TWO aquariums there, one with all the colorful fish...and one for the "predators". (WAIT. I think I just made a joke and didn't even mean too! Let me try it out, "they call that predator tank 'The Michael Jackson Aquarium'." HAR!!)

Oh, and I didn't actually get to STAY at this hotel, I just visited it while I was on a crappy cruise in the Bahamas. For an afternoon I got to see how the rich people vacation. *sigh*