WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Haha! That's Jeff, and he looks like a big baby. This picture is five or six years old I guess, and Jeff sent it to me because he claims he was striking that metal pose before ME!!!

But, get this, they called it THE GOBLIN CLAW!!!! Seriously, how stupid is THAT?!? You look like you have MS or one of those diseases Jerry Lewis is always droning on about. It's not nice to make fun of special people, JEFF.

And what is his friend doing, besides looking like a whole bag of dumb. Put your tongue back in your mouth you mongoloid. Nice leather jacket with the collar up, Fonzie.

Yes, I sound bitter, but that's because I already know what's going to happen. These punk kids are going to try and swoop in with their fancy, ambulance chasing, lawyers and try to steal my fame and fortune from me. Well it's not going to happen! If you want my grapefruits of metal you'll have to pry them from my cold dead hands. I live in 'merica pal, and we have a little something here called rights.

Also, Jeff is the bass player in my band, SWARM OF EYES, and he's pretty cool. Just watch yourself, guy...