Hey, look over here!! Your eyes don't deceive you!

Yup, I posted a new GoM photo. And to celebrate my release from priso-err, my return from a sabbatical in the Andes Mountains consulting Tibetan monks on the meaning of life (It's still 42 in case you were wondering) I've posted a photo with ACTUAL grapefruits!!

That's up to 25% of your daily allowance of vitamin C. You don't just learn here, you get healthy. Also, you can get in shape doing milk-jug curls and lots of push-ups out in the prison yard. That one was a freebie for you kids.

This is Jack. Who obviously has exquisite taste in clothing and bands. Jack is sporting part of the Fall collection from SWARM OF EYES. It's called Moth Skull, and it can be found for sale at http://swarmofeyes.com on the Merchandise page.

I have to point out that if you click on the picture and look at the larger version you can see a large pair of toe-nail clippers on the table. That's just gross. And who took this picture anyway? Did they not even bother to get their ass off the couch to take the photo? I don't have time to crop out your Glade candle and messy living room, people. Community service takes a LOT of time.

Thanks to Jack for making a brutal GoM face and for supporting my band, SWARM OF EYES. Now go buy a CD, kid.

WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Haha! That's Jeff, and he looks like a big baby. This picture is five or six years old I guess, and Jeff sent it to me because he claims he was striking that metal pose before ME!!!

But, get this, they called it THE GOBLIN CLAW!!!! Seriously, how stupid is THAT?!? You look like you have MS or one of those diseases Jerry Lewis is always droning on about. It's not nice to make fun of special people, JEFF.

And what is his friend doing, besides looking like a whole bag of dumb. Put your tongue back in your mouth you mongoloid. Nice leather jacket with the collar up, Fonzie.

Yes, I sound bitter, but that's because I already know what's going to happen. These punk kids are going to try and swoop in with their fancy, ambulance chasing, lawyers and try to steal my fame and fortune from me. Well it's not going to happen! If you want my grapefruits of metal you'll have to pry them from my cold dead hands. I live in 'merica pal, and we have a little something here called rights.

Also, Jeff is the bass player in my band, SWARM OF EYES, and he's pretty cool. Just watch yourself, guy...

He comes from the land of the ice and snow...

I made that Led Zepplin reference in the title because I just assumed that the victim, errr... person featured in this blarg entry would hate it. He hates everything and everyone. He hates getting caught in the rain and even pina coladas. He hates you. I'm pretty sure he hates The Grapefruits of Metal as well, and this is some sick way of mocking me.

And that's why I love him. Not in a "Hey, it all feels the same in the dark" kind of way, but in the you just can't help loving someone so misanthropic because it's so adorable way. I'm even hoping he hates this whole post. I'll feel like I made his life a little happier with something new to hate.

For the record, this is Derrik. He's a phenomenal guitar player (which he'll deny, and he could be right. What do I know? He could be terrible. I just know I'm super impressed when he is fooling around when he's bored and starts twiddling out the theme song to Sanford & Son or something), to which I've had the pleasure of being in two bands with, Motokops 2000, and currently Swarm of Eyes.

What? That plug wasn't subtle? Shutyourface, I can do anything I want here. Now go find the band on Facebook and like us because we are so friendly and likable.

Swarm of George!

Not a bad photo for being taken on my crappy iPhone knockoff, huh?

That, my friends, is George. The guitarist, engineer, drum programmer and musical genius behind our band SWARM OF EYES. He's known me for a VERY long time, so when I ask him to pose with the Grapefruits of Metal in the middle of Downtown Boston, he just does it. No arguments. He knows he'd make a powerful enemy otherwise.

I've been playing in bands since 1992, and our bands have played gigs together almost as long. I've joined him on stage to sing with his old bands, and he's been gracious enough to join me as well. So it only made sense that we'd eventually end up making music together.

This labor of love called SWARM OF EYES is nearly complete. Which means that we'll be on stage soon making ENDLESS photos of the Grapefruits of Metal!!!! Go find us on Facebook and become our pal.

Ok, so I've been trying to avoid this, but is anyone else weirded out by the bulge in his jeans (Does anyone say "dungarees" anymore? Which is a strange word for pants. Look up it up, it's an Indian goddess that lives on a hill). I mean, it's not like I was staring, but it's kind of obvious. Maybe it's just that pant folding thing that happens where it looks like there is...something going on. I'm sure that's it.

Otherwise.....bravo my friend. Impressive.

This is my first photo to NOT feature me in it. And I'm sure some of you find that very hard to believe and that some hacker must have gotten in to my account and done this. But no, it's just humble little old me.

This is my very dear old friend Joe, who plays in a band with my brother called FADED HALO. He is sporting a fancy SWARM OF EYES t-shirt before a gig, and he's giving it his MOST EVILEST look for the GRAPEFRUITS OF METAAAAAAAAL pose!!

Wow, I'm doing a lot of band whoring in this post.